I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize