i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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