it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
