she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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