You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
