Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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