After last night, I could never be a politician.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
