i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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