Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
