Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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