"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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