You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
