went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows