Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

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(630): You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem. http://tfl.nu/xqri

Replies (18) Good night (4432) Bad night (1416)
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(416): View more from Ontario

when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.

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(416): when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast. http://tfl.nu/itb7

Replies (30) Good night (910) Bad night (11502)
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(503): View more from Oregon

When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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(503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f

Replies (2) Good night (1728) Bad night (1354)
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(813): View more from Florida

So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3

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(813): So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3 http://tfl.nu/7or4

Replies (4) Good night (4543) Bad night (1107)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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(609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m

Replies (6) Good night (1533) Bad night (1199)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday

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(989): Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday http://tfl.nu/e2qw

Replies (3) Good night (1358) Bad night (627)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.

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(413): dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/a0c8

Replies (8) Good night (467) Bad night (928)
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(239): View more from Florida

Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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(239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7

Replies (15) Good night (803) Bad night (2356)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED

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(586): I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED http://tfl.nu/w9fp

Replies (10) Good night (849) Bad night (412)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.

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(314): So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body. http://tfl.nu/xsc0

Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (727)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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(701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm

Replies (9) Good night (2078) Bad night (316)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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(250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g

Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (269)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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(919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r

Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (229)
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(416): View more from Toronto

well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself

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(416): well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself http://tfl.nu/ylfg

Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (228)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.

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(973): Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery. http://tfl.nu/x3iz

Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (158)

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