Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.

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  (661): if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies. http://tfl.nu/xdyr
  Replies (27) Good night (736) Bad night (5550)
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  (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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  (650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23
  Replies (23) Good night (1357) Bad night (3713)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Good thing spelling doesn't count.

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  (641): I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test. (319): Good thing spelling doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/8f4i
  Replies (23) Good night (6537) Bad night (837)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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  (678): Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember. http://tfl.nu/s3lo
  Replies (51) Good night (4625) Bad night (1401)
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  (619): View more from California

  Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.

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  (619): Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser. http://tfl.nu/agjn
  Replies (33) Good night (3598) Bad night (1466)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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  (570): hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help. http://tfl.nu/nfdk
  Replies (11) Good night (2680) Bad night (1004)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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  (617): Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/xmy8
  Replies (4) Good night (2122) Bad night (896)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??

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  (603): As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right?? http://tfl.nu/yy40
  Replies (32) Good night (3966) Bad night (1042)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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  (540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2
  Replies (3) Good night (3033) Bad night (598)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.

  (954): View more from Florida

  It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.

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  (305): I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight. (954): It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse. http://tfl.nu/qkdj
  Replies (7) Good night (1272) Bad night (705)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.

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  (443): Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude. http://tfl.nu/yo4l
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (980)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (773) Bad night (361)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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  (515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (917)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.

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  (614): Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/o52k
  Replies (6) Good night (829) Bad night (344)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra

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  (810): Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra http://tfl.nu/ryel
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (382)

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