Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
