Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.

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(310): I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece. http://tfl.nu/uvvr

Replies (34) Good night (5079) Bad night (908)
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(720): View more from Colorado

the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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(720): the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat. http://tfl.nu/19vn

Replies (14) Good night (4683) Bad night (1010)
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(703): View more from Virginia

My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

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(703): My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall? http://tfl.nu/yddz

Replies (51) Good night (6175) Bad night (908)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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(678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/cs50

Replies (32) Good night (4370) Bad night (640)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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(814): It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice. http://tfl.nu/t4ih

Replies (7) Good night (735) Bad night (5111)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.

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(508): he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that. http://tfl.nu/38s6

Replies (23) Good night (7482) Bad night (1171)
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(407): View more from Florida

You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

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(407): You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear. http://tfl.nu/lhty

Replies (4) Good night (3389) Bad night (862)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.

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(804): Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned. http://tfl.nu/m2za

Replies (19) Good night (3101) Bad night (1846)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js

Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (1519)
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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs

Replies (18) Good night (2450) Bad night (693)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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(224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u

Replies (8) Good night (3362) Bad night (880)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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(613): Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. http://tfl.nu/3xxn

Replies (1) Good night (1644) Bad night (1200)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!

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(563): Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW! http://tfl.nu/5pvv

Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (1166)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.

(636): View more from Missouri

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.

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(636): I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB. (636): I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE. http://tfl.nu/x3bf

Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (2012)
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(917): View more from New York City

She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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(917): She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them http://tfl.nu/qyhd

Replies (13) Good night (487) Bad night (815)

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