My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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