he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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