Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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