I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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