all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
