i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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