Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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