i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
