My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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