I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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