Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize