That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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