My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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