you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
