Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
