things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son