Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes