for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize