it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.