Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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