Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
