I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
