Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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