it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
