Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
