Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
