Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
