Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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