yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
