What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
