I wanna bring you to show and tell
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
handjob tips. give me some.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
