ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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