Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
