I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im part way to drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
