I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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