We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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