Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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