She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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