Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize