He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize