I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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