How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize