Plan B is the new Plan A
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
