Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
