hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
