? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
