i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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