Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
