Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
