16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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