you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize